Anonymous

I have a confession to make. My real name isn’t Lelain de Peche. I have said before that it’s my nom de plume but I haven’t explained why. When I first started using it with my Twitter account it wasn’t just to support my writing (I have a very common name) but also to help protect my identity. Indeed, when I first started using Twitter I was even vague about my sex, my home life, and anything else that might point to who I really am.

I have my reasons. I grew up in a household where abuse was the norm. It started with my father. I cannot think of a single way in which he was not abusive to us. My eldest sister was able to work up the courage to turn him in for the abuse. She wanted to save her three sisters and herself from his abuse. Instead, everything was turned on her. Our father’s siblings and their children railed against her. They called her a liar and a whore. Then someone bailed our father out of jail. Long story short, after a failed attempt to destroy his family, he chose to take his own life rather than stand trial for his crimes. He shot himself in the driveway in front of our house. After this, his siblings and other family members not only tore into my sister (as much as they could as she was still in state’s custody) they turned on my mother and the rest of us. It didn’t help when almost ten years later I had the same issues with my father’s brother. Then I was the one called a liar and a whore. He didn’t go to jail though. I was removed from the home during the investigation but then, unfortunately returned (God, I hate the 80’s!). The only good that came out of this unfortunate childhood, if you can call it that, is my writing and creativity which I have used as a release from pain and a way to escape my reality.

Today I am married (25 years this fall) with two children. I made a conscious choice when they were born that I would make sure my father’s people were not in their lives. I have done what I can in this digital age to ensure that I am not found. I cannot endure the harassment that they might measure out to me and I would not have my children know its vileness for a moment. To that end I will now and forevermore be Lelain de Peche, anonymous writer and artist.