All the RAGE for Stephen King

When I was fifteen I found a book on my sister's bookshelf and read it while I stayed with her.  It had a black cover and a brooding young man sitting on a teacher's desk looking like a bad boy instead of a madman.  On the bottom right of the cover is a woman's pair of legs lying on the floor, her dress slid above the knees; the rest of the body is just out of sight off the cover. The cover itself held a quiet seduction without showing any outward violence.  I felt a certain electricity holding it. Like a forbidden text. I had to read it.

The book was RAGE by Richard Bachman.  It's the story of Charlie Decker, a young man in the 1970's pushed to the edge by circumstances in his home life and at school.  After being expelled for assaulting a teacher, he takes a gun to school and decides to, as he puts it, "get it on".  When I was fifteen, in the mid 1980's, school shootings were unheard of and deeply shocking. Today they have become so common place that people are almost numb to them until it happens to them or someone they know.

I somewhat identified with the pressures that Charlie Decker felt.  I understood that compulsion to lash out at those who you feel/know keep you down or abuse you; of being tired of being fucked with. At the time I read the book, I'd been fucked with all my life.  I was physically, sexually, and emotionally/mentally abused at home.  At school I was severely bullied and isolated with few friends that I could trust.  I knew Charlie Decker, identified with that quiver of insanity, and almost loved him for it. I had found someone (the character, the author?) who somehow understood me. However, instead of inspiring me to violence, reading the book inspired me to write my emotions out into stories instead of acting them out.  It was an easy way for a 5'2", 85 lb girl to vent her emotions without too serious a repercussion. It was a good outlet for me and led to my working on the high school newspaper.

Years later I learned that Richard Bachman was a pen name Stephen King used during the late 1970's.  I had read a couple of King's books at this point and enjoyed his work.  It struck me that I hadn't made the connection.  Rage is not all that different from CARRIE (minus the supernatural).  Both Carrie and Charlie had been abused/neglected by a parent.  Both had bad experiences at school. Both had at least some trouble connecting with their peers.  It's almost like two sides of a coin. [While I hadn't read CARRIE at fifteen, I had seen the movie with Sissy Spacek and really identified strongly with that character - downtrodden, abused, long red hair, and gray-blue eyes always averted unless told to make eye contact.]

Sissy Spacek from CARRIE

In the 1990's, there was a sudden sharp increase in school shootings (unfortunately they only continue to rise).  When a copy of RAGE was connected to several of the shooters, Stephen King had his publisher pull the book from print.  (See articles about it here and here.)  He also had RAGE pulled from further printings of the Bachman books collection. Secondhand copies of the Bachman collection with RAGE in it can still be found for sale online at places like found for sale online at places like eBay, Etsy, and Amazon. However, copies of an original print of RAGE are few and far between and priced outrageously.

Because I felt a strong positive connection with the book, I do still try to find it.  My sister no longer has her copy.  It appears to have been lost long ago.  So I look for it in thrift stores, used book stores, yard sales, and estate sales.  I found an original copy of CARRIE that way.  Maybe one day I'll find RAGE without having to spend $100's or $1,000's for it.  I just want a copy as a reminder: This is where you truly started, dig deeper into your stories and characters; let this be an outlet for your pain and working through your confusions in life's day to day struggle.  Wish me luck finding it!